The Disneyland Challenge

challenge requirements:
A trip to Disneyland, a submarine, aeroplane, fish fingers and John Howard.

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
The rest of the plane passengers turned around and glared. Tim and Paul grinned and waved to them all.
Rich buried his head in his seat and pretended not to know them.
"Hey Rich�." Paul sang
"I'm not here. I don't know you" he mumbled.
Paul poked him in the back.
"Can you move? We need to go to the toilet and don't feel like climbing over you"
Rich moved his legs to the side and pulled his jumper over his head.
"Now I REALLY don't know you."
"Sure you don't want to come Tricky Ricky?" Tim asked.
"No. Piss off" he grumbled going red.
"Don't say we didn't ask!" Tim laughed pulling Paul behind him.
Richard put his headphones on and hummed loudly until they had left. It was going to be a long flight.

"We're in Disneyland!" announced Tim, somewhat unnecessarily. Paul put on his sunglasses and tried to look inconspicuous. He hadn't had any tea since takeoff and was quite grumpy because of it. That and the fact he hated flying meant he wasn't a particularly happy little vegemite.
Rich wasn't in the best mood either after the plane trip over. Paul and Tim had stayed for a very long time in those toilets, leaving him to watch a crappy movie about a submarine.
Tim grabbed their arms and pulled them along. "Come on guys! Lighten up!" he cried, pulling them towards some rides.
"How is he so bloody happy all the time?" asked Rich grumpily.
"I dunno. But if he doesn't shut up, I'm gonna belt him"
"Come now Paul!" tutted Tim
"Oops, too late" Paul interrupted.
"Stop being so grumpy! We're here to have a good time."
Paul looked up. "Fine then. Happy. Look I'm happy and having fun over here. Whoa look at the happy man." With that, he walked up to a Disney character that was walking around. Snow White stopped and smiled at him. A group of kids stopped as well and gathered around them
"Do you wake up in the morning feeling sleepy and grumpy?" he asked one girl.
She nodded her head timidly.
"You must be�Snow White!" he accused, pointing his finger at the offending character, who was trying to hide a grin.
"Do you wanna?" he asked, doing some typical DAAS movements.
"Come on, he'd be perfect for you!" said Tim appearing at Paul's side.
"You're already fucking the dwarfs aren't you?" he said while Rich grabbed their arms and pulled them away.
"Will you leave her and the kids alone?" he asked pointing to some very bewildered kids.
Paul held up his hands in defence. "Sorry, I was being happy. Sorry for having fun, I'll just go back to being grumpy then" he glared.
Rich sighed. "Oh, whatever" he said, half angry, half exasperated.
"You hate me anyway. You all hate me," he cried, suddenly hysterical.
"We don't hate you Paul"
"Yes you do! You all hate me cause I lost all my fingers in a boating accident" he sobbed.
"Paul, you've got all your fingers" Tim said patiently.
"No I don't! If I have all my fingers, then why do I have to strap fish fingers to the stumps?" he asked grabbing a passing boys lunch, and trying, unsuccessfully to attach them to his hand.
Rich took them off him, and gave them back to the indignant child
"Don't do that! You know what American children are like, he might have a gun!" Rich whispered frantically.
"Oh you hate me cause I'm the bastard child of an orphaned beggar and a crippled schizophrenic," he cried, falling to the ground in hysterics.
Tim, fed up, kicked him in the side. "Fine then. I do hate you. Now get up"
Paul by that point wasn't listening. He had curled up in a foetal position and was sobbing and muttering to himself, in front of a curious and highly entertained audience.
Another passing character saw him, and mistaking him for a kid, went up to him.
"What's wrong little boy?" he asked concerned
"Daddy and Daddy are being mean to Lil'Paulie. They kicked me!" he cried. He wiped his eyes, looked up and suddenly freaked out.
"Get away from me you fucking child molester!" he yelled. "What kind of animal are you anyway?" he screamed at the shocked Goofy, to the cheers of the children.
Rich led Goofy away from Paul.
"Sorry about that. My 27 year old son is going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment- puberty and all." He explained before turning back to Paul.
"Get up you ungrateful little shit! Your father and I spent a lot of money to bring you here! Get your arse over here and stop your bloody crying!" Rich exploded while Tim looked on in amusement.
Paul got up obediently, shocked into silence, and allowed himself to be dragged around. After awhile, he even began to enjoy himself, much to the disappointment of the group of children who had followed him around waiting for a repeat performance.

They were all lined up, waiting to go on the Matterhorn Bobsled, with Paul bouncing around in a very happy mood. (Drugs *may* have been involved, but that is yet to be confirmed)
However, this did not last long, and Minnie Mouse crashing into him, was enough to set him off again.
"How dare you? Aren't you going to say sorry or anything?" Paul challenged, while Tim stood in the background squealing and saying, "Minnie is a slut!"
Minnie stumbled and stuttered over her words.
"Ahh I can't say that word" she said.
"What word dip shit?"
"The 's' word"
"Sorry?"asked Rich before Paul could cut in with a smartarse reply.
"Yes" she stuttered taking of the Minnie head so she could be understood better.
The screams of the children could be heard all around. Because Minnie had taken off the head, and it was revealed that Minnie was in fact a man. And a very ugly one at that.
"Who the hell are you?" (To treat me like that�sorry tis been in my head) asked Paul. "And why do you have steel wool stuck to your face?"
"My name's John. John Howard" he replied, ignoring the other question.
"That's not important right now. What is important is that you apologise"
"I'm so�deeply sympathetic for you" John said, as usual, skirting around the 's' word.
"Oh" said Paul blinking in confusement.
'What a prick' he muttered to himself walking away quickly.

At the end of the day, they stood in front of the camera.
"Thankyou for joining us on our journey today. This, of course has been,
"How to confuse and annoy Americans who will believe anything and are in need of entertainment"
This was brought to you by Allstar productions. Good night Australia!"