DAASopera

challenge requirements:
Starring: DAAS
Location: Opera House
Time: Whenever
Words: dark, sparkling, battery, BYO, lid, straw hat
Phrase: "But if we did that we'd end up like Michael Hutchence"

SCENE ONE

Tim, Paul and Richard are in a large room. The walls are made of a silver metal-like substance. The room is only furnished with three huge power-stations lining three walls, each containing five computer screens and various knobs, switches and other technical thingimy-bobs. One has teddy bears lined up along the top of it and a portrait of an old woman on the wall, with the label 'Mother'. One has paintings of skulls on the wall behind it, and little ceramic skulls lined up on top of the station. The other has a pink feather boa draped over it, and hundreds of mirrors and photos of a young humanite with a long dark fringe dressed in nothing but stilettos covering that wall. Tim, Paul and Richard are each dressed in tiny silver g-strings and are floating mid-air, facing a large illuminated screen. It is the year 2212.

COMPUTER: You are especially invited to the closure of the Sydney Opera House picnic on the 30th of November at 12.35am. This is a great day for Australia, as it will mean we can finally build the long awaited giant peniscope and open it to the public, thus gaining greater insight into the humanite condition. BYO battery fluid and acidicol. See you there, or else.

The screen folds into itself until it is the size of a flea, hovers into Tim's open wrist, and closes the tiny door behind itself with a blip.

TIM: Wow! Can you believe we were invited to the closure of the Sydney Opera House picnic!?

PAUL: It's just another reason to get pissed off our skulls really.

Paul yawns and adjusts his g-string.

RICHARD: Do we have to go?

PAUL: You heard the man Rich. And you know what happens if you don't obey the Australian Regoracles,

Paul slides his finger up his arse and pulls it out with a loud 'gerboing-phfroofshhh' sound. Richard shudders.

You don't want that to happen, do you Richard?

Richard shakes his head.

TIM: So we're going?! Ye-he-he-hessss!!!!

Tim flips open his wrist and looks at it.

We've got 5 minutes to get there. Rich, you grab the acidicol. Paul, you grab my arse, now let's go!

SCENE TWO

The boys appear in a flash of light on the steps in front of the Opera House. The gigantic dark structure looms above them, its grey blotchy appearance seeming out of place against the sparkling chrome buildings in the background. It is surrounded by beautiful perfect humanites, their skin and clothes shimmering in the acidic glow of the moon, its rays having a drugging effect on all the guests.

PAUL: Richard, take off that bloody straw hat, you look like a human! I wish you wouldn't wear that thing. One day you'll get us killed!

Richard pouts and puts the hat away in his wrist.

RICHARD: Sorry Paul.

TIM: Oh wow! I love these big ceremonies! I wonder if there are any big-time modeling agency people here? Maybe they'll spot me and want to buy me for their own emotional and sexual gratification! MAYBE I'LL BECOME A FAMOUS PROSTITUTE!

Tim runs off into the crowd, making seductive poses and flirting with anyone who looks important. Paul looks at Richard, unimpressed.

PAUL: Fuck off Richard.

Paul grabs the acidicol canister from Richard's hand and disappears into the crowd.

RICHARD: Paul, wait! Don't leave me alone! Guuuyyyss!!! You know I can't make friends!!! Tiiimmm?? Paauull???? GGUUUYYYSSSS!?!?!?!

SCENE THREE

The moon is just about to go down over the horizon. A large voice booms out over the harbour.

VOICE: Attention please. If Tim Ferguson, Paul McDermott, and Richard Fidler would please come to the stage.

A murmur runs through the crowd and Tim struts up onto the stage set up in front of the Opera House, wearing only a rather flashy pair of silver stilettos. A few minutes later Paul is thrown up next to him, looking rather disheveled after having drunk so much acidicol and battery fluid. Richard walks up, seemingly in a better way than the other two. The audience cheers.

You three have been chosen to be the first inhabitants of the planet Leushavion. We would do it ourselves, but if we did that we'd end up like Michael Hutchence. You will be the official closers of the Sydney Opera House and then be sent, in the Opera House, to the planet Leushavion, where you will breed a new colony of humanites know as�the DAASites.

Richard smiles dumbly. Tim poses, legs akimbo. Paul looks confused.

If you would please enter the Opera House and press the large red button labeled 'Do Not Press'.

Richard grabs Paul by the arm and pulls him inside, smiling inanely. Tim struts in behind them, doing the trademark 'model on a catwalk' stroll. Richard spots the button, grins triumphantly, and presses it. Instantly the Opera House is shot up into space. The boys look out to see the ground where the Opera House had been opening like a huge lid, and the giant Peniscope rising up out of the ground. The Opera Ship hurtles deep into space until planet Earth can no longer be seen. The boys turn back to each other, looking slightly baffled.

RICHARD: Wow!

TIM: Isn't this exciting?!

PAUL: What just happened?

VOICE: Would you like me to repeat what I said?

They all nod.

You will be the official closers of the Sydney Opera House and then be sent, in the Opera House, to the planet Leushavion, where you will breed a new colony of humanites know as�the DAASites.

All three boys look at each other.

TIM, PAUL & RICHARD: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duum-da-dum-dum��duum-da-dum-dum-duuuuuuuuummmmm!!!

THE END