Dougs on a Plane

challenge requirements:
Setting: airplane on the way to London
Stars: DAAS
Words: laptop, porn, smelly armpits, Keanu Reeves, bungy, parachute
Year: anytime

It was the year 2001, the Doug Anthony Allstars were heading to London to perform a few concerts as part of their reunion tour. It was a long flight from Melbourne to London, about 20 hours.

They�d only been in the air for a couple of hours when Paul began to get rather restless. He jumped up from his seat and turned around to face Tim and Rich who were sitting in the row behind him.

�I�m bored!�

Rich sighed. Even though it was 7 years since they last toured together, Paul was still acting exactly the same.

�Paul we�ve only been flying for 2 hours, how can you be bored?�

�I just am! Why didn�t I bring a sketchpad or something with me?�

Tim pulled out his laptop computer and handed it to Paul.

�Here, play Solitaire or something.�

Paul pouted.

�I don�t want to play Solitaire, I want a drink!�

Before Tim or Rich could say anything else, Paul jumped out of his seat and ran down the aisle of the plane to find a flight attendant. Of course he picked the most attractive one of the bunch, and in minutes he had her smiling and laughing. He whispered something to her and the two of them disappeared behind the curtain.

Tim turned to Rich and smiled.

�How does he do that?�

Rich smiled back.

�I wish I knew mate, I wish I knew.�

A short time later Paul returned with a smile on his face, carrying a rather large bottle of Bourbon and three glasses. He smirked proudly at his two friends as he handed them each a glass and filled them up.

A few hours later, the bottle of bourbon had disappeared rather quickly and Paul, Tim and Rich were pretty well drunk. Paul was staggering up and down the aisles of the plane screaming �Satan!� and making devil horns and generally freaking out the other passengers. He stumbled back to where Rich and Tim were still sitting, playing �Go Fish.�

�So what�s the movie on this flight anyway?�

Tim dropped his cards and then fumbled around looking for the flight magazine.

�Um, the Matrix with Keanu Reeves.�

�Keanu Reeves? Oh for crying out loud! Why can�t they show a porn movie or something?�

�Paul they can�t show a porn movie.�

Paul looked at Rich and smiled.

�Why not? I�m sure no-one would have any objections.�

�I bet they would.�

�Well let�s find out.�

Paul stood up on his seat, and Rich and Tim both just shook their heads. Paul looked like he was about to say something, but stopped, then looked down at Rich and smiled.

�Come on Richie, no one does it like you!�

Rich laughed and jumped up on his seat as well. He clapped his hands loudly and began to yell.

�Come on! Eyes this way please!�

Paul and Tim cracked up laughing and Paul fell off the chair. He quickly jumped to his feet, holding the back of his leg.

�I meant to do that!�

Rich giggled.

�They�re all yours Paul.�

Paul jumped back up on the seat, a glass of bourbon still in his hand.

�Okay ladies and gentlemen, it�s time for a public vote! In a short while they are going to be screening a movie. Now you can either see The Matrix with Keanu Reeves, or you can see a movie that my friend Tim here has.�

Tim jumped up on the seat next to Paul, waving a black videocassette tape around. He turned to Paul, who had his arms raised above his head.

�Christ Paul, you have fucking smelly armpits! When did you last shower?�

Paul looked offended.

�Shut up Ferguson, it�s hot on this damn plane. You don�t smell so fantastic yourself.�

�I always smell fantastic McDermott and you know it!�

Paul looked at the look on Tim�s face and started laughing again. He jumped off the seat and took off up the aisle to see the flight attendant again. Tim sat back down again and turned to Rich.

�Do you think we could convince Paul to jump out of the airplane? We could tell him it is just bungy jumping.�

Rich laughed.

�Maybe we can wait until he passes out and strap a parachute to his back.�

Tim joined in the laughing and they started another game of �Go Fish� as they waited for Paul to come back with another bottle of bourbon.

THE END