The one with the toilet block

challenge requirements:
Setting: Public Toilets
Words: information, telephone, dunny water, confidential, condom, speaker, and microphone.
Phrase: kill two birds with one stone.
Date: 1991

It was the summer of 1991 and our three stars were on tour around Australia. At this point they are travelling from Melbourne to Sydney in the tour Tarago.
"And to our left we have a cow. This cow is a living national treasure. This particular one's name is daisy. To our right, we have a farmer- wave to the nice farmer everyone!" Tim called into his imaginary microphone.
Rich gave him a dirty look. "Belt up" he said, before turning back to the road.
"If you wake Paul, he's gonna belt the shit out of you" he warned.
Tim grinned. "Wake up Sleeping Beauty? Well I hadn't thought of that, but now that you come to mention it�"
"Don't you fucking dare! Bloody hell Ferguson, you've got a death wish!" Rich insistently said as Tim turned up the car speakers.
"I'm hanging on the telephone!" he sang while playing the drums on Paul's back.
Paul opened one eye and then belted Tim across the back of the head.
"You should have listened to the guitarist," he said sweetly.
"You were awake?" Rich asked, looking in the review mirror.
"Yeah I woke up when he was doing his bloody tour guide crap. Then I heard he wanted to wake me up, and I just wanted a reason to belt him"
"Well for your information, it was Tricky Ricky here who gave me the idea. Tim said defensively.
"I believe he told you not to wake me" He gave Tim another clip around the ear. "Telling lies gets you nowhere," he said while Tim rubbed his head.
Paul leaned over and turned the radio down.
"God, I hate that song, and you just made it sound worse" he grumbled.

They drove on, until they came to a small town.
"Oh can we stop here? I need to pee" Paul said squirming.
"Me too!" announced Tim. Rich sighed and stopped the car.
"Hurry up, I'm going to get myself a drink. And an aspirin" he added quietly.
Paul jumped out of the car, Tim following close behind. The raced to the public toilets, both getting there at the same time. But there was only one cubicle. They eyed each other suspiciously and raced for it. Paul got there first and locked the door while Tim bashed it.
"Oh yuck!" Paul squealed, and the sound of the toilet flushing was heard. He opened the door.
"Toilet's blocked" he said, as Tim's face fell. He went into the cubicle and peered into the toilet bowl, which was slowly filling with dunny water.
"Go get a stick will you?"
Paul disappeared, but returned soon after carrying a long stick. Tim poked around for a while, finally retrieving part of the problem.
"Don't expect me to touch that" Paul declared. "Not only has it been down there, but it's full as well."
Tim dropped it back into the toilet.
"What are we going to do now?"
Tim sighed. "We'll just go in he bushes, what we normally do."
They went behind the toilet block and tried to scare away a flock of birds sitting there, to no avail.
Paul picked up a rock and threw it, leaving two birds motionless on the ground.
"Looks like you killed two birds with one stone." Tim mused while Paul sniggered.
"What? And you pissing on them wasn't going to kill them?"

Rich stood in front of the toilet block tapping his foot.
"Come on guys! We have to go!"
Paul and Tim emerged from behind the block, rather worse for wear.
"Don't tell me what you were doing, I don't want to know" he said, holding his hands up while Paul grinned.
They went back to the Tarago, Paul walking in front of the other two.
"Hey McDermott!" called out Rich.
"What?"
"You might want to brush all that crap off your pants. A whole lot of leaves and shit has leapt up and hugged your arse"
"It's my magnetic personality" he grinned, brushing it off as Tim laughed.
"I wouldn't laugh if I were you Ferguson. That confidential sticker which has found itself plastered across your backside, isn't the best look either"
Tim went red and brushed it off while Paul sniggered.
They got into the Tarago and drove on.