Part 6
I woke up the next morning with the immediate knowledge that the arms around me were not those belonging to Rich. During the time we'd been together, my body had distinguished the difference between his body and someone else's. His gave me love, warmth and comfort, while these arms felt almost alien and foreign. They didn't belong there.
After blinking a few times to clear my eyesight, my heart began a frenzied drum solo when I saw the person lying next to me, sleeping peacefully. Tim.
Quickly leaping out of the bed, staring in disbelief, I tried to recollect the events that had occurred the previous evening, any clue that could lead me to some answers. How had Tim ended up in my bed? Had he taken advantage of me in any way? Why hadn't I pushed him away and dismissed him, like I always did before? Why would I be disloyal in any manner to Rich? No, it was impossible. I could never do something like this in my right mind. But the evidence was right before me - the bed, him sleeping next to me, that unmistakable aroma of sex...Usually it�d be a welcoming, intoxicating scent, but this one made me feel queasy.
"Fuck," I muttered.
Tim awoke and looked up at me with eyes of triumph, his mouth curling into a grin.
"Oh, come on, don't be so surprised," he said in response to seeing the expression on my face. "You were all over me last night. Draped all over me like a fuckin' suit."
My voice failed me. I tried to speak, my mouth opening and closing like a fish.
"Something's wrong," he quipped, "I can tell by the tone of your voice."
"T-This is lunacy," I managed to sputter. "You're tricking me again, screwing with my mind. Tell me you're fuckin' joking!"
He elevated himself onto his elbow, resting his head into the palm of his hand. His fingers traced slow circles on the bedsheet.
"You mean you don't remember telling me how much you'd always loved me? Swearing that Rich could never take my place?"
I found my voice again, and it went into action with full force. "I would never say such complete bullshit to you, Tim! I don't love you, I never did love you and I never WILL!" I roared. "How you can even imply that is beyond me! I wouldn't turn on Rich for anyone, especially not for you!"
What made me angrier was how calm and composed he was. His smile widened and his eyebrows elevated. "Paul, you can't stand there and deny seeing what's right in front of you. You made love with me last night. And, might I add, you thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it."
"You're fucking with me! This has gone too far. You've got this stupid little fixation on an idea that I feel something for you, and you want to believe it so much that you're concocting all these scenarios in your head and making them look real. For all I know, you could've snuck in and crawled into the bed next to me, without having sex with me at all."
"Ah. But you don't remember anything about last night, do you?"
I took a pause, my face going red with anger and my heart pounding in my chest. What he said was true - I couldn't remember anything, no matter how hard I tried. Could he be telling the truth? Had I really made love with him? I couldn�t get any answers when I tried to recall the proceedings of the previous evening. The last thing I could remember was drinking what must�ve been my fourth glass of wine. Not enough to get blind drunk, but what happened after that fourth drink? Had I said or done something to Tim and given him the idea that I was sexually attracted to him? I was renowned for my rapid-fire tongue when I�d poured a few glasses of alcohol down my throat. Maybe that was it.
How could I make love with anyone other than Rich? How could I betray him like this? Maybe I was drunk, but I wasn�t going to give myself pardon for that. I�d broken a vow that I�d made to him months before � that I would never love anyone like I loved him. That I would never do him wrong. How would he ever be able to forgive me after this? I was sick in the stomach. Even though Rich hadn�t found out yet, I already felt as though I�d lost him. I couldn�t bear the thought of not having his love.
I took deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. My head throbbed intensely. "Get out," I demanded. "Get your fucking clothes on and walk out of here. I don�t want to look at you."
Tim�s face fell. "But Paul-"
"Fuck off!" I shouted, my temper once again proving to be uncontrollable. My voice echoed throughout the house. My body shook with rage � not just at Tim, but at myself. What we had both done was unforgivable.
"Paul?"
Rich. He�d arrived home. I couldn�t let him see this. Tim�s smile reappeared when he heard Rich�s voice.
"Tim, get out of my fucking bed, quick!" I hissed. I then became aware of my naked body and grabbed a towel draped over the edge of a chair, wrapping it around my waist.
Tim made no effort to move out of my bed, but before I could move him by force, Rich appeared in the doorway, dropping his bag onto the floor. His face went pale when he saw us � Tim lying naked in my bed, clothes sitting on the floor, while I stood in a corner with a towel around me, with a look of dread and fear. Nothing I said could�ve changed how he felt at that moment. My heart began to crumble upon seeing the look on his face.
He turned to me slowly with his eyes glistening with tears. "Paul?" he asked, his voice shaking. "What�s going on here?"
Part 7