A day at the zoo

challenge requirements:
A story involving the Doug Anthony Allstars at the zoo

"I'm going to the zoo, zoo, zoo, How about you, you, you? You can come too, too, too, I'm going to the zoo, zoo, zoo. I'm going to the zoo zo�"
"SHUT UP!" yelled Rich and Paul.
Tim grunted and looked moodily out the car window.
"How long is it till we get there? I don't know if I can stand much longer cooped up with him" Paul grumbled.
Rich quickly looked at his watch, and the street signs. "Should be about 10 minutes" he said looking back to the road.
"Stop grumbling!" said Tim from the back seat "This is you idea remember? *We* didn't choose your birthday treat did we?"
Paul turned around and glared. "Doesn't mean I wanted you stupid singing included in the package."
"Fine then" said Tim, rummaging through his pockets.
"What are you doing/" asked Rich looking in the review mirror. Tim pulled out his harmonica and began to play Amazing Grace.
"Oh fuck!" cried Paul pulling his jumper of his ears, trying to block he noise.
Rich winced at the sound, but kept on driving, saying nothing. He knew all too well, Tim wouldn't stop until he felt like stopping.

Soon, they pulled into the carpark of Taronga Park. Paul leapt out of the car happily, the argument temporarily forgotten.
"We're here! We're here!" he cried jumping.
Tim's face screwed up and he tugged on Rich's sleeve. "I need to go to the toilet" he whispered, while Paul sniggered.
"Well go then! What do you want? An invitation? Or do you want me to hold your hand�hang on. Forget that last bit" he said grinning, while Tim wiggled his eyebrows.
"If you really want to," he said suggestively while heading for the toilets.
The minutes ticked by. Paul picked up a stick and drew pictures in the mud while Rich hummed aimlessly. Another 5 minutes passed.
"What's up with him? He fallen in or something?" Paul asked.
"Wouldn't surprise me. Go in and see, while I go find a map"
Paul went into the toilets, screwing his nose up at the smell that all public toilets have.
"Ferguson! Have you fallen in?" he yelled upon entering. He looked around, and only seeing one locked cubicle, banged upon it loudly with his fist.
BANG "Get" BANG "your ass" BANG "Out here now" BANG "You're ruining" BANG "my birthday!" BANG

Tim's head hesitantly poked around the top of the booth. "The lock's broken. Can't get out" he explained while Paul pissed himself laughing.
"It's not funny! Crawl under and help me here" he defended.
"You better be decent" Paul mumbled while crawling under.
Tim jiggled the lock.
"See? Won't open."
Paul frowned. "Show me that again, but slower."
Tim demonstrated and Paul grinned.
"Try turning it the other way"
Tim turned and the door magically sprang open, just as an elderly man entered the toilets. The man's eyes widened seeing the pair walk out together. Paul noticing this, pinched Tim's butt while smiling disarmingly at the man, and led Tim out the door.

"Bout bloody time" said Rich looking up from the map.
"Where do you want to go first?"
"The elephants!" bounced Paul like a young kid, and ran down the path, leaving Rich and Tim to follow.

The rest of the morning went like that until it came to lunchtime.
Richard got all the food out of his back bag and dumped it unceremoniously in front of them. They had all brought their own food, cause zoo food is always those wet, lukewarm soggy chicken rolls with mayonnaise that has he consistency of rubber.
Paul sat in Tim's lap sipping his thermos of tea while Tim tried to eat Vegemite sandwiches around him.
"You enjoying it so far?" asked Rich like one would ask a 4 yr old.
"I'm not a little kid!" grumbled Paul, as Rich and Tim exchanged looks over his head and smirked.
"Aww you all hate me" he grumbled, noticing.
"Why don't you drink your tea. It'll get cold" interrupted Rich, trying to stop the 'You hate me' spiel.
They sat in silence for a while. Tim gave up eating his sandwich as Paul snuggled up closer and Rich strummed absently on his guitar. (Don't ask me why he brought it. Ask him)
He sat across from them, and studied them as they lay, eyes closed enjoying the sun.
"They're both complete fuckwits" he mused. "Which makes them perfectly suited" he grinned to himself.
Paul lazily opened one eye. "Whatcha grinning at Rich?"
"Nothing" he hurriedly answered, still smiling.
"Tiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmm" he whined, poking Tim. "Rich's teasing me�I think"
"Huh?" he said distractedly, suddenly noticing how many people were near them.
"Do you know what we should do now?" he asked.
Rich looked at the crowd, down at his guitar and groaned.
"Tell me that's not what you thinking."
"Fraid so tricky Ricky!" he poked Paul back. "Get up Pauly. We've got some busking to do."
"At the zoo?" he asked getting up, as he children gathered round.

***

Seeing as they were at the zoo, they had all opted for an animal theme. Or when I say they all did, I mean Paul did and told them all. They had done Skinhead Skippy, a bit on bestiality, which made some kids run off in tear, and had started on Dogs, when a zoo official came over to them.
"We've had a number of complaints about you. Either you stop now or I'll have to ask you to leave." He said.
Tim and Paul grumbled while Rich went red. Tim picked up the bucket with their takings in it, and emptied it out on the ground.
"What'd we get?" asked Paul.
Tim counted it all up. "5 cents, a gob of spit and a saucepan" he said, picking it up and scrutinizing it.
"A saucepan!" exclaimed Paul, as Rich grabbed him and led him off, before he started on abusing the people around.
"Shhh Paul! I wanna see one more thing, then we'll go." He explained.

***

"Look in the cage, what do I see? I see Paul's face looking back at me!" Tim sang.
"Paul, get out the cage and stop being stupid! Paul, put that handful of shit down, otherwise you'll get a spanking once we get home." He warned as Rich laughed.
Paul stood to the side glaring.
"Trust you to bring me to the monkey enclosure Fidler. Can we go now?" he grumbled.
"I think we better" Rich said, looking at all the disapproving faces watching them.
"Can I have that spanking anyway?" Paul asked hopefully, as he and Tim skipped hand in hand out the exit. And as they pulled out of the carpark, the officials and all zoo-going Australians breathed a sigh of relief.