Part 1
I paced the floor, back and forth listening to Tim on the phone. We'd been talking about a reunion for months, nothing big... a tour round the major cities... 3 nights per city and then move on. We'd organised a few places along the way. Brisbane, Perth, melbourn, Darwin, Adelaid and of course sydney... But there was one place we couldnt get. Canberra. Home town and we couldnt get a venu anywhere! Richard decided to go for a walk whildt Tim rang around and i just paced the floor listening to him get rejected over and over again. Rich came back and we paced together.
We'd just about given up when Tim slamed the phone down and yelled:
"Right Pauly Boy we're in! A new club called Club 707, 2 days after out Melbourne shows"
"You're kidding? we've got it? thank fuckin christ for that. I was starting to think we shouldnt bother" I cried
"Paul... i told you to trust me, but did you? No... of course not. But i came through like always"
"yeah like last time when you got us accomodation at the pink palace hotel. We couldnt afford anything expensive so you told them we'd work in the cafe... we ended up wearing pink tutu's and blond curly wigs" Rich said quickly and went into the bathroom.
"Well that was... errr... well paybe not always but most of the time..."
"Look ferguson, If you screw this up... im gonna..." I began to threaten
"you'll what? grow an extrat 3 feet and beat me up"
"You're such a prick you know that"
And to that all he did was smile as if to say 'yeah i do... good isnt it'
So we left the next day. Night after night of
GOOD EVENING WE'RE THE DOUG ANTHONY ALLSTARS!
Felt good to be back there... i missed it so much.
So we went to Brisbane, Darwin, Perth, Adelaid, Melbourne and Canberra.
"Ready guys? We're on in 10 minutes" Rich asked us.
"Im ready... Tim?" but he wasnt listening to me. He had his head poked out the curtan spying on the audience.
"Hey guys..." he turned around and began to speak
"Did you notice that all the audience is male?"
"Hey?" Rich asked joining him.
"Paul? there isnt a single female in there" Rich said to me. I guess it didnt phase me.
"We'll just swap 'the girl is mine' to 'kiss me you fool' then for out opening song."
"but paul..."
"Rich... we're going on... its too late"
So the bulky guy walked on stage and announced us as the "group who call themselves the Dougs"
and the applaud was enormous. We ran out, jumped around, told a few dirty jokes and did "kiss me you fool and it was fantastic, the reaction was amazing and the guy we chose practically removed his clothes for us, and tried to rip off tims shirt. We finished the song and the bulky guy walked back on stage and took my mic.
"Well you horny fellas, these guys sure are teasers, how about we give them a round of applause as they TAKE IT ALL OFF... here for you tonight!!! at club 707! The new, the best male strip joint in AUSTRALIA!!!"
"Ferguson..."
"ahhh... hehehe... im only human??"
part 2